I create the universe, blink by blink

When you think you've had too much of this life, well hang on

2009-02-13T10:06:12Z

I have papers coming up, so of course Im going to waste my time instead and post on LJ! It's been a while. Have you missed me? I'm sure you have. And all the wonderfully dull things that happen in my life! Lol.

I am actually also killing time while my things are in the dryer. I only had a 2 pound coin and a 1 pound coin and the wash cycle costs £1.80 and the dryer 60p. Luckily if you put in £2 on the washing machine you get the SUPER CYCLE! So I had that, and now my clothes in the dryer get 80 minutes instead of 45, which is nice. Especially if the dryer doesn't work. It's like a game of Russian Roulette in the laundry room when it comes to the dryers. I would say about half don't dry your clothes and some you can't push the buttons, so you end up wasting your money. I hope it works because that was the last of my cash. Literally. All there is in my wallet now is a 10p coin, a 5p coin and 2 pennies! And it's Friday! Party on me! Nope, no partying. Going to TRY and start at least one of my essays. If I can get this Lit and Food essay outta the way this weekend (that's if I am uber productive) that leaves me 2 weeks, one of which is reading week, for me to try and grapple with my Modernism essay. Though that's the one my dad can probably help me out the most with. I would like to get the Lit and Food essay done, but seeing as all the good books are already gone from the library I don't know. I HATE THE LIBRARY HERE! Take me back to Thomas Cooper! He loved me.

Speaking of the "L word" (no, not that TV show), it's Valentine's Day tomorrow isn't it? Whoop di doo. I really don't care about V Day. I know that sounds like the typical thing someone who is single says, but I really don't. The time I actually had a Valentine, I found it seriously awkward and horrible. It might also have had something to do with the fact that I had a cold and was on my period at the time, but still. He made me dinner, bought chocolates and flowers and we watched a movie at his house, while his family were out. We watched Underworld because we were such a romantic couple! Lol. I didn't like all that focus being on me. Freaked me out. I know that some of my friends here are stressing about not having dates. L said that other day that she just really really wants a date for tomorrow. She was supposed to be doing her volunteering thing all day, but she's decided to call in sick. She decided this yesterday. I think it's because H isn't here to give her a lift in the morning. I wish L would just quit this, because I don't think she really likes it, it's a hassle to get there (you have to take a taxi in the morning because the buses run at weird hours, and then you have a 20 minute walk to the bus stop in the evening and then you have to wait ages for the bus). I have no idea why she's doing it. I didn't even think she liked children! (L and H both volunteer at this place for sick and disabled children) It sounds like a tough job, and L comes back all drained, not wanting to talk or think about it and just wanting to get drunk! I don't think that's healthy and if something makes you feel like that you shouldn't do it. She's told H though that she has decided this is what she wants to do and that she can't fail at it or she thinks that there is nothing else she can do in life. Problem is, L hasn't tried to do anything else! She worked in a shop once and that's the only job she's ever had. I know I can be pessimistic sometimes, but I don't sit there thinking that there is nothing in the world I can do! I get jobs that I don't like and yeah, that sucks, and I do things that I was terrified of doing (like answering the phone! Being a receptionist freaks me out, though people don't seem to notice), because you can't just say "Oh no I can't do anything! No one will hire me and I'm no good at anything!" She hasn't tried anything to know she can't do anything! She's doing this volunteering so that she can put it on her CV because there is nothing on there other than this one job. The thing is, she says all this but what it comes down to is that she doesn't want to do anything, not that she can't. She doesn't want to have a job, she just wants to ski all the time. So she should go get a job as a ski instructor. But she said "what if I have a lazy day? Where I don't want to do it? You can't just not do it." Umm....yeah, it's part of being an adult. I know this might sound hypocritical, because I've complained about not wanting to become an adult, but at least I am aware that I can't just not become one! It's hard, this is a hard time where we have to transitiion out of being something that we've been basically all our lives - students - and enter into the "real" world of work. When I had a 9-5 job in my gap year, I actually quite enjoyed it. It's not the job part that annoys me (as long as it's one that I like okay), it's the getting of a job that has me freaked out. Sure, I'll miss the long holidays but you know, I'll have this little thing called money!

Okay, woah. That rant went on a lot longer than expected! Lol. What else did I want to talk about? Oh, I want to do a Masters degree at Oxford in History. Lol. Fat chance, but I kind of feel like there's no harm in applying, right? It's a rather intimidating process, but I do have 2 insiders at Oxford University who can help me a bit. (Jo's parents both worked/work for the University. Joy is retired now, but only in the past couple of years and Tony is still there til September as the Bursar of St. Johns College) But yes, this is something I am considering. It's not that long a course, which is why I am looking at it. The other option is going back to USC to do a Masters. These are the only 2 places I want to go, because I am not upping sticks and starting over at some other university in some city I don't know. So my options are either 1) stay home and try to get into one of the top 2 universities in the whole of the British Isles, or 2) move 3000 miles away from home, back to USC. That's not as hard as you might think, knowing I have friends there and all, though it is hard because I would miss my English friends and my family of course. But I'm always going to be mildly unhappy wherever I am, so I can never win.

Well, I think that's enough for today, boys and girls! Hope I haven't bored you all into comas! Just needed to vent a bit, get it all out so that I can start my work nice and refreshed! Lol.

Peace!

Go all the way with me

2009-01-02T12:40:52Z

Good morning world. Or rather, good afternoon, as it is 12.25pm right now. I stayed up til 4am last night watching Supernatural. lol. I was going to go to bed early, then realized it was like 3 and was going to go to bed then but they put a little sneak preview of the next episode, so I had to watch that one, but then I drew the line. 4 was a bit stupid. I didn't sleep for a while because it was bloody freezing in here! Right before I went to bed I checked the temp and it was 28 outside, which means it was only marginally warmer in my room. Still, I have my giant duvet and bearskin blanket to keep me nice and toasty!

I keep having dreams about the guys from Supernatural. lol. Not too bad really, since they are both really cute. And it's not surprising since I've basically spent everyday this week watching episodes all day long. I'm going to try not to watch today, to do my course reading that I was supposed to be doing this whole holiday. But the thing about these dreams, well.....There are some sexy elements to them, but always like I want to do something with who ever is in my dream, but we never get the chance to. lol. I'm not even gettin' any in my dreams! How sad is my life? Maybe it's because I can't remember what it's like, so I can't dream about it. LMAO. That wouldn't surprise me. >.<

When I'm not watching Supernatural, I'm listening to the Twilight soundtrack. I love that thing! Though it makes me think of the movie, which makes me think of Robert Pattinson, which in turn makes me think of all the naughty things I would like to do to him! But it makes me sad, because I know it'll never happen! Donna wished me a boyfriend in the new year. I'm wishing for at least something to happen with someone! But someone new. Of course, that involves going out and meeting people and that's what I'm not good at. We'll see. OH! And I'm wishing for a lot of money too, so that I can make my dreams for Winter 09 come true! In fact, when I finish this I'm going to look into plane tickets. Yep yep.

Maybe I should have a shower and get dressed? There's no one home at the moment, so I don't feel so bad because they don't know what time I actually got up! lol. Though my dad came in around 10.30 (maybe, not sure what time it was really) to say he was going into town, so he knows I was still asleep then. But really, when you have nothing to get up for, you worked your butt off at uni, then got a job straight after coming back and worked til Christmas Eve, and you haven't slept in in about 3 months, you're entitiled to some R&R right? :p

NYE

2008-12-31T19:29:50Z

Happy New Year's Eve.

Hope yours is going better than mine!

Work work and CHRISTMASSSSSS!

2008-12-19T19:45:48Z

I have reached the end of my first week of work. Yay! I'm knackered! And my back hurts quite a bit and I don't really know why. Well, other than the obvious reason. I was taping together some boxes today and that made this horribly sharp pain in my lower back. I think it's the same one I got a few years ago after having a massage. Painful. Or was it last year? I dunno.

It sounds really horrible outside. Really windy. Roland just called and asked if I wanted to go to a pub on the other side of town to see a guy from school who I don't really like anymore. I said no. I was up for going for a drink after work, but Tim went home before I finished and I just came on back and don't plan on going out again! All this work is bloody tiring!

So yeah, lots of phone answering, (though less as the week progressed) some photocopying, running of errand - including buying milk, sugar and labels, taking the post to the post office and general boredom this week. Fun times. But I'm getting just over £200 for it, so I'm not complaining too much!

I wish Christmas would just hurry up and get here! I want to open presents! Though my aunt has given me permission to open the presents from them! I knew she would. Wendy just loves people having presents too much. Donna starts getting Christmas presents at the beginning of December most years! Wendy is so good to me. They sent me a huge box of presents and tons of chocolate!

And that's it for my boring week!

avalonsreality @ 2008-12-06T16:22:00

2008-12-06T16:31:35Z

Yoinked from Kyle

bold the things you've done~~

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumping
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitchhiked
23. Taken a sick day when you're not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched the sunrise/sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo's David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris (been at the bottom, twice. Once it was too crowded to go up and I was sick and the other we went to the pub instead!)
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theatre
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favourite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book (been published **in** one, does that count? I’m saying yes)
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chicken pox
89. Saved someone's life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a lawsuit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Read an entire book in one day

Things to pass the time

2008-11-20T17:12:51Z

I will walk into infinity
And I will live forever
You will hear my voice through the ages
You shall see my eyes
Reflecting the universe
The eternal starry skies

I contain the multitudes of humanity
I am the culmination of all creation
There is no going back now
You shall watch my ascension into the void
And you will watch the universe explode
Disintegrating into fragmented diamond skies
--AF

No one can raise the day that's dead, not even God knows how

2008-11-20T16:33:38Z

So it's been a while since I posted. Things have been hectic here lately and though I have lots of down time I don't ever seem to want to blog. Probably because all I ever do is moan and who wants to always read moany blogs?!

But I'm going to go it anyway! I am feeling very tired of being here, which is bad considering I went home just 2 weeks ago. I really can't be bothered being here anymore. I am very rude to Laura now because I just don't care about her problems, which is horrible and bitchy of me, but I can't help it! When she's complaining about having to return a £50 jacket her mum bought her because she doesn't like it, or how she's mad that her driving instructor is 10 minutes late, I'm always thinking just shut up and leave me alone! I have more important things to worry about, like my essays, getting my reading done, how I'm going to afford Christmas presents, how I'm going to afford food, if I'll be able to get a job this Christmas and if not, what the hell I'm going to do next term? It's all getting to me and I just want it to be over.

And another thing that's annoying me is the apparent sense of dismissal about doing an English degree. People look at it as something easy, and can I just say, that's bull shit?! Doing an English degree is *not* easy. I don't know what it is, maybe the fact that there's a lot of reading and it's not like it's in another language or anything, but have you ever tried reading 500 pages of something you absolutely don't want to read ? Written in 18th century English? Try it and then we'll talk. Laura asked me the other day if I had finished it yet. I was shocked. I said no, it's 500 pages long! I'm only just past 200 and have to read the rest of it for Tuesday. I felt like turning around and asking her if she had finished her reading, which is nowhere ever near 500 pages. Oh, and then there's the other 100-200 pages for my other class. Just, ugh. But she's not the only one. A lot of my friends at home look down on my degree and even did in highschool when they were off doing maths and sciences. All those subjects do is show that you can find the answer, which is either right or wrong. It doesn't show that you can be creative. They all couldn't write a critical essay to save their lives!

Stupid people. I have felt all weird in the head today, like dizzy and sick and all manner of fun things! I think I'm just going to drink some more coffee. I've become seriously addicted to the stuff, I swear! I have at least 2 cups a day. That can't be healthy. Oh well. Who gives a shit? I'm going to give up smoking, so I might as well have one vice.

I ain't askin for much

2008-11-08T14:31:34Z

The girl in room E has left her window open and gone out. It's a windy day. This means her door has been rattling ALL DAMN DAY LONG! It's driving me bananas. But I don't want to go out or anything because it's raining and windy and horrible out there. Ugh.

So I managed to write a 2000 word essay in 2 days. Well, I wrote 1700 yesterday but then I ran out of steam and had to finish it up today. I'm very bored at the minute. I think I might have to cave and play some PS2. I don't actually play it that much, considering how much down time I have. I think I feel like I should be working, so I end up sitting on my computer all day. (Not literally as my considerable weight would crush my pretty MacBook into a thousand tiny pieces) But still not doing any work. It's kind of pointless. I just end up looking at things online and being really bored most of the time. Lol. Well done me.

Just realized I have to read Moll Flanders for next week and it's about 350 pages long. Boo to Eighteenth Century literature and everything that goes with it! I hate this damn subject!

I'm so very bored. No one is in. It's Saturday but really doesn't feel like it. Lordy lordy I'm so boredy! Right, gonna go play FFX now I think. Woot!

avalonsreality @ 2008-10-21T16:41:00

2008-10-21T15:50:45Z

It is Tuesday once again and that mean I had another lovely day of class. Stupid stupid class. I had to get up at 7.45 this morning to go to the doctor at 9 to make an appointment for 2.20 to be told that, look at that! I'm not depressed! In between that time I had 3 hours of 18th century bollocks to sit through. Didn't say a thing in my seminar again. My participation grade isn't going to be that great if I keep going on like this.

I'm in quite a bad mood right now. Don't really know why. Well, it's probably because I had all my boring classes to go to. They are just so shit. And I am going to have the same seminar leader for 18th next semester too. I don't know if I can stomach her for a whole year! She's so terrible! And she hardly gives you a chance to say anything before wittering on and talking over you if you try to say something. What a bitch!

And all I have to look forward to is reading Poe's short stories! Not really the greatest thing in the world as his stories are so depressing and creepy!

Life is hard. Especially mine.

X

Rant rant rant

2008-10-14T13:25:01Z

This is a quick rant before I have to go to another boring ass lecture. Just had 3 hours of 18th century literature and it's so damn boring! It's taught in the most uninspiring way, you wouldn't believe! In the seminar this girl was giving her presentation and all it was was a recap of the stuff we had read! She gave a few interpretations, one of which I thought was really wrong, and the seminar leader said it was good! She praised this girl for comparing two poems. But I mean, we all had to read the damn things and of course we're supposed to think about them while we read, so it's not like she did anything I hadn't! I hate when people's presentations are just a synopsis of the reading. I'm not an idiot, I can read, I don't need you to just re-tell me what I read! It drives me crazy! Hannah had to do a presentation too, and her's was good, there were interpretations, it wasn't just this is what happened and then this. But the seminar leader hates Han, and didn't give her any word of encouragement or anything. Han said that when she had this woman before she used to dismiss most of what Hannah said. It's so bloody stupid because Han wasn't just being like everyone else!

God I hate my degree. It's full of idiots who somehow get better grades than me, just because they know how to jump through the hoops, or because the always send loads of drafts to the professors to check and recheck. I *never* send drafts. I don't write drafts, for one thing and for another I don't want the professor to just be telling me what to say. What's the point? You aren't learning to think or anything, you are just learning to regurgitate! And we all know how to do that!

Fuck. I've just wasted the past 3 years and I'm going to waste the next year, doing something I hate. I hate criticism. Well, not all but I hate literary criticism, because you can basically make up anything, find the evidence that seems to support it and claim it's true! Especially if the author is dead, or there is nothing they wrote that says explicitly what they meant to say! It's so bloody stupid!

The vast majority of English professors here are shit. I wonder if it's like at Oxford, where once you are on staff, it's pretty damn hard to get rid of someone. But seriously, there's no need for them to all be so god damn dull! They are so stuck in their own little preferences too, with their own opinions and if you don't share those opinions you might as well shut the fuck up! And now I have to go to another lecture, with another man who's just like all the others. His lectures are sometimes interesting, but not really for the reason he thinks, but because I find his tangents and jokes to be hilarious because they are so bad!

And there's nothing I can do about it because all the other options are equally shit and annoying. All I can do is grit my teeth in the boring seminars as people either don't speak and we sit in silence for 2 hours, or they do speak but say the most idiotic shit that it makes me want to cry. Fuck

I feel more like a stranger each time I come home

2008-10-07T21:41:38Z

I'm having a rather hard time dealing with being here in Kent this year. I haven't really told anyone here. I've said that I miss being in America, which is true and most of us year abroad returners agree that it was pretty awesome during the year away and a bit crap being back. But I don't know, I feel like it's more than that. I think I really fit into the American university system a lot better than I do the English one. There was more variety and I think I would've benefited from a wider degree. All we do here is 18th and 19th century literature, pretty much. And *English* literature at that, so it's a fairly limited frame to work within. I know there are lots of books to study, but sometimes I want more. But I mean, it's the only English degree, and of course it's going to focus on *English* stuff, but still. I did the wrong degree. I realize this now, when it's far far too late to do anything about it other than suffer my way through. Not that it makes it much easier to deal with.

I'm missing people a whole lot. I don't know if it makes it easier or harder getting messages from people. Obviously I want them, I want to know what's going on with the people I care about, but at the same time it just reminds me how far away I am, how out of things I am. Today I got a message from my cousin, and all it really dealt with was some rather mundane things going on there, but it made me really sad because I know it'll probably be a year or more before I see them again. I'm not going to America for Christmas this year, because I can't afford it, and Jo's brother and co are coming over from America and it seems like a waste to go. Of course, it means I probably won't see *my* brother for who knows how long again. I saw him last Christmas. He never talks to us, so I don't know if he's happy. It's not like he doesn't talk to us out of hatred or anything, he's just not very communicative, as far as I can tell.

So I don't really know what to do. I have been thinking about maybe going to see the counsellor, but I am not sure I should. I don't really know what I would say. "I am feeling stressed." "With what in particular?" "Oh everything. And I'm stressed out by the fact that I no longer get so stressed about my mom. Because I sort of got over that this summer and now I feel at a loss. For the past sort of 6 years at least, I feel like it's been a defining part of me and now it's gone and I'm not sure how to deal with it." I need to go into therapy to deal with the fact that I've finally dealt with one of my most long rooted issues!

It's just hard. I don't feel happy anymore. The first week here I swear I haven't laughed so much in my life. Now....not so much. I mean, I still laugh and have fun, but at the same time I want to be alone a lot. But then I don't. I get bored if I'm by myself too much, but then sometimes I get fed up with other people's company. It's weird and I don't really understand it. Right now I just want to cry and I don't know why. I got tired of being at home, but now all I want is to be there. I'm never satisfied with where I am! I'm desperate for a job, but I don't seem to be doing much about it. I had an interview about a week and half ago and it sounded promising, but he said he'd get back to me in a few weeks and I'm scared that now it'll fall through. But I also don't want to find another job in case he offers me that one. It's hard.

I really hate my life sometimes.

Gee, did I mention he's here?!

2008-10-06T15:27:42Z

So True Blood. LOVES IT! And I'm super excited about next week's episode! I can't believe what happened in this past episode!

I can't believe Gran is dead! I thought maybe it was a prank but then I watched the preview for the next episode and saw that it was sadly, too true. She was such a sweet heart! I have no idea who this person is, killing everyone. I thought maybe it was that bald vampire, but after Bill's little speech about a fresh corpse being too much for a vampire, I'm all confused! There isn't any clear cut villain for it to be at the moment. But it's got to be one of the townspeople right? I don't know.

The Sam Situation, as it shall now be known, is weird. I don't know if he projects himself into the body of a dog when he's asleep or what. Amber pointed out to me how he was rolling around on Jason's side of the bed at Dawn's place, but I told her to think about the way dogs act. They totally roll around in dead things, so I don't think we need to worry about anything weird there. Though the whole thing was a little odd. After this episode I am now more than ever intrigued by him. When Sookie said how no one knows anything about him and his reply that the people who raised him have nothing to do with who he is, I was all "who raised you? were they dogs?! TELL ME!!!"

I also hope Tara gets over Jason. I was kind of rooting for them to get together, but now I think she deserves better. I mean, a guy who takes V and then screws a whore covered in trash really isn't what Tara wants.
So those are just some of my thoughts on it because no one here watches it and I needed to vent a little. lol

Life is ticking along here. No job yet, which seriously bummed me out the other day, but I'm still hoping the guy from the bookstore gives me a call back soon and I can work there. That would be super. Money is tight but not too tight. Since I hardly ever go out, it's not too bad. I have £15 which I'm going to try and make last as long as possible. I spent just over £4 at the shop a minute ago, but that was on milk, 2 packs of noodles and some juice. I've got lots of noodles now. Not quite Ramen but close. I have all these 7p noodles from Tesco's which are a little on the blah side, but they do the job. The ones I bought today are just a little bit nicer, so I thought I'd have a couple of them to relieve the tedium of the blah noodles. And my aunt has promised to send me a care package soon with Ramen noodles in it! Yay! Laura asked me if I was just going to have a cupboard full of noodles and I said yes. That's what I'm going to live on. I should be able to stomach them til Christmas, because that's how long I was able to live on them in America, for the whole of the first semester. Might have to find some other cheap alternative for the second and third terms in case I get bored. Perhaps a lot of rice? We'll see.

Ciao!

No One Mourns the Wicked

2008-10-02T16:22:56Z

I'm kind of confused and slightly worried by these bruises I keep finding upon my person. There's one on my upper arm, one on my ankle and I just found another one on my leg. I have no idea where they came from and I haven't even been drunk lately, so they aren't UDBs! Weird.

My cold is just about driving me crazy. Every time I think it's getting better it just whips around and screws me again. I was feeling alright earlier today, but there is always a part of the afternoon where my neck starts to hurt for some reason and now I can't breathe out my nose anymore. And I can't taste anything either. It's so annoying. I'm going to run out of tissues soon! ugh. I've been sick for a week now and I think that's quite enough. Damn Freshers Flu. It's so unpleasant. I had it in the first year too, when I actually *was* a fresher! I guess the weather isn't helping much either. It's apparently 55 degrees outside, though it feels much colder. It hasn't rained today, but the past few days it has been really sunny, then poured with rain, then stopped again. It's weird. That sort of weather has been going on for weeks now in England and I don't feel that it's a good thing. Oh dear.

I've finished class for this week and the conclusion I've come to is that I'm going to probably hate this year. Just like every other year except last year. They just don't make it very interesting! There is hardly any choice in your degree and that's just stupid. You get to choose for your core modules either 18th or 19th century literature and then 2 other special modules. I chose 18th century and now I'm wondering if that was a mistake, but I didn't want to do Dickens and there was no other option. In the first year we studied Romanticism which is the fag end of the 19th century and the 19th century, in the second year we did 18th century American literature. All we come out knowing is the 18th and 19th centuries and there are other periods of literature out there! It's just aggravating because I feel like in the US there was more choice. I did Great Books of the Western World and we studied all sorts of time periods and that was way more interesting. I know that the 18th and 19th centuries are very important and that a plethora of works were published then and it was the time that the novel really came into its own, but still. It's damn boring! It's sad to say but I really think that at the end of my degree I'm going to have wasted 4 years of my life studying something that I didn't really like and then I'm supposed to go out and start my life. I should have done history. I'm fucked.

Sorry this is such a moany entry but my cold is really getting me down. I keep having coughing fits, my head hurts all the time, I can't breath and I'm tired of being sick. I would quite like to go home, not as much as I have at this time in past years, but I really can't be fucked with this year. What I really want is to go back to USC, I think. I really think my brother and I should have switched places, because I think he would have really benefited from the English education system whereas I'm better suited for the American system. Bloody stupid life!

I'm sick. Blerg

2008-09-29T07:11:32Z

So I found out something interesting the other day. People have a very different perception of me than the one I have of myself. Hannah told me that when she used to see me sitting in lectures, with my feet up on the chair in front of me, she used to think I was too cool for her to talk to! I used to hate lectures because I had no one to sit with! And Margot said that her friend who came to visit thought I dressed cool. What is wrong with these people?! I am *not* cool! Since when have I been cool? Well, the thing that Hannah said happened in first year, so apparently I've been working the cool, aloof thing for at least 3 years now. I had no idea! I know my cousin Donna always thought I was cool, but I just figured she was the only one!

It's just past 8am and I'm awake, writing this post. I feel pretty shitty. My cold has just been getting worse and worse as each day passes. When I woke up my throat was killing me. It has reached that stage where when you cough, it really hurts. Yesterday I was just kind of scratchy, in a sexy way, except my stuffy nose made it not sound so sexy and more *special*, if you catch my drift. My own father made fun of me on the phone! I'm all achy as well. Ugh. I hate getting sick. Dad reckons it's something to do with stress because I used to always get sick during holidays, breaks from school, right before I was supposed to go to America. I haven't been this sick in a while. Had a few trifling coughs this summer, but no full blown cold. I'm not really a good sick person because I moan about it a lot. I feel sorry for my friends when I'm like this. Now I can't breathe out my nose either. And I really don't want to cough because it hurts! >whimpers<

Maybe I'll crawl back into bed for a bit. My head is beginning to hurt and there's really no need for me to be awake right now because all it does is make me want to eat and I don't have enough resources (ie food or money for more food) to do that. So bed it is!

You're gonna crash and burn. Right tell me more

2008-09-28T15:19:55Z

I've been here over a week now and what do I have to report? One very drunken night, where I saw my old housemate who I disliked excessively, but was very friendly to. One very hungover day, following the drunken night. One school disco where I dressed up in a short skirt and actually went out in public. One dinner of lovely lovely fajitas, another of risotto and lots of pasta. And finally, one case of Fresher's Flu. Lovely. Feel like crap right now and I haven't been out in about 3 days, since I just keep feeling worse instead of better. Might go to campus tomorrow, to the library. I don't have class until Tuesday, so I've just been bumming around all week and even after these classes I won't have much to do because they are introductory classes. It's all rather different from USC!

Right, gonna go collapse on my bed and feel sorry for myself.

avalonsreality @ 2008-09-21T11:05:00

2008-09-21T10:18:38Z

It is 11.06am on my first real day back at Kent. I'm sitting around waiting for Hannah and Laura to arrive. And the fifth person in my house, who ever that may be, I'm waiting for them too. I have met my two other housemates, both French, whose names I can't remember, but they seem nice enough. And it might work out well for Laura, since she's a French and Drama major. We shall see.

Last night was rather grim, kept wanting to cry and did a few times. I'm so bad at being left places. Or going places. Or anything that involves saying goodbye to anyone for an appreciable amount of time, no matter how excited I may be to be going to that place. I sob like a baby when I leave my dad for 2 weeks to go to America for Christmas, for crying out loud! Anyway, today is a little better. I have the arrival of Hannah and Laura to look forward to and the cooking of fajitas with Laura this evening. I realized that when my parents took me shopping I didn't really buy an food. It's so ridiculous. I was thinking of what I was going to have for lunch I realized all I have on offer is pasta. I didn't even buy any bread or anything. True I was feeling pretty shitty at the store and just wanted to get out of there, and I knew that my parents were leaving as soon as we were done, so I didn't feel super happy or anything. So yes, not a lot of options really. It's going to take a while to get used to cooking and buying all the food for myself again. Ohhh! Just remembered I have soup. So that's good. Phew.

My room is alright. It's pretty big. No where close to as nice as my apartment at BW, though. We have a shared bathroom and kitchen for 5 and another toilet downstairs. We have a fridge/freezer, kettle, stove, microwave. There's even a table and chairs in the kitchen, though it's pressed against one wall underneath the cupboards, but it was something I wasn't expecting. They hadn't finished cleaning the place when I arrived, though my room was done luckily, so we didn't have to drive around with all my things still in the car. The kitchen was disgusting. Not really the best way to see the new place you are living, that you don't even want to be living in! I've unpacked everything but I forgot to bring my posters - AGAIN! I did that in second year, got them all together and then left them at home. That was quite a blow because I kept telling myself not to do it again. Oh well, Dad said he'll send them to me.

So I'm just waiting around here now. Probably go make some coffee in a minute. Hmmm....can't wait for Laura to get here. I don't actually know how to get to campus from here and I'm scared to go by myself! Lol.

I need help believing you're with me tonight

2008-09-18T10:02:05Z

Does anyone else start planning their LJ posts before they start writing? Because I totally do. It's probably the one and only time I start planning what I'm going to write! Not when I write essays, no, I just start them and wing it. It's weird. Maybe because I use LJ to get things off my chest or vent or whatever and you start thinking about what you want to write about....

....of course now I've forgotten what exactly I *was* going to write about!

Well one thing has just sprung to mind - I updated iTunes again and now it's all different! Ugh. I liked the way it was abotu 2 updates ago. I don't like having to keep getting used to new things! First it was iTunes, but it was still pretty similar, then I updated Firefox and lost my skin or theme or whatever it's called and now iTunes is unrecognisable!......okay, panic over, I just changed it. It was on view as grid and that threw me. Okay, I am not that annoyed anymore.

So I watched The Jane Austen Book Club last night. After finishing Samantha Who. All I can say is that now I really want to fall in love and have a boyfriend and it's been a while since I felt that way. I mean, there is usually this niggling feeling about it, but it's not been too bad. When I was in America I told myself not to get strong feelings for anyone because it would never work out, and other than a few crushes (and of course the unforeseen wonderful friends I made) it was cool. And in second year I told myself not to fall in love with anyone since I would be in America the next year. So that all worked out well for me. But now....now what? I guess I should tell myself not to get involved with anyone since it's my final year at Kent, but I don't feel that's a really valid reason this time. Because once I'm finished I could go anywhere, (money permitting) or they could come be with me. And being confronted by the photos of this girl that I really don't like very much from Kent, ones where she's with her boyfriend of 3 years, that she met at Kent, just pisses me off. I mean, I'm a whole hell of a lot nicer than her! Sure, she's skinny (but sometimes she looks unattractively skinny) and she has more money than me. But it's not fair!!!! I know that people tell me I need to go out more, but I don't want to meet some drunk guy in a club. Though of course I know that's how a lot of people meet, I don't want to be one of them. I'm drunk enough of the time, I don't need to start a relationship with someone while intoxicated! Because for one thing all that would probably happen would be I'd go to bed with them and i don't want to do that. This stupid movie and show made me want to fall in love first. Find someone special. Of course the last time I fell in love with someone it ended badly, but that was his fault and now I think I'm a little wiser (and not 17 anymore!) so..... Where is my man? Where is my Edward??????????? And now As Long As You're Mine has come on. >sigh< ...... >sob<

I'm supposed to be packing. I went out and got one of my suitcases from the shed and everything. But my stomach hurts and I don't want to pack. Because then that means I really am leaving the day after tomorrow. I want to go but I don't at the same time. I'll just have to not get sucked into the same old pattern. I'll get a job, which I don't want to do, but I'll have to. And hey, maybe I'll make some new friends and have new things to do, so it won't be so bad. Of course, Tim isn't there anymore. And though Jo's right and I didn't see him all that often...I did see him in lectures and I would usually go see him every Friday or something, when he was there. He's said he'll come stay and that will be nice.

Well, I guess I better go pack. Definitely taking my picture of the Raptors in front of the Disney World castle! It's getting prime placement!

"This could be the summer of love

2008-09-14T10:34:17Z

This could be the summer when I grow up."

I don't think either of those things is happening, really.

Last night I was watching CSI and there was this girl in college murdered and when they showed the front of the dorm building (she fell out a window), it looked so much like Bates West I was all sad. And then they found out about her love triangle through Twitter! Lol. But it also made me realize how much people are willing to say online. I watched this thing about sex bloggers in the early 2000s, and how they were all only really comfortable doing it (I mean, writing about "doing it") when they were anonymous. But it made me realise how happy people are to just share their lives. I know this, because I do it too, and I'm happy to write about people that I know aren't going to read it and sometimes I hope that other people, people outside my circle are reading too and being interested. Of course, if you don't write about anything interesting....

Nothing interesting is happening in my life at the moment. Yesterday my stepmum bought me a wok, heavy pan, and a coffee canister to take to uni on Saturday. And then I watched the kids, washed them and put them to bed while the parents went out to celebrate their 11th anniversary. My life is now just killing time until Saturday, when it'll re-start with a vengence. Though I've realized that I don't have the money to buy my books. That will be interesting, to say the least! Oh well. I'm gonna be hella poor this year. >sigh<

Cracks in the walls

2008-09-09T09:55:16Z

Being bored sucks. Being bored only 20 minutes after you woke up is even worse! It does not bode well for the rest of the day. Though I will say that my iTunes is finally playing some interesting music. A Story About A Girl by Our Lady Peace and some Kings of Leon before. There are times when I think I hate all my music but I know that has to be crazy because I have 2124 songs on there and I can't be hating them all! So I think that it's that I hate the shuffle option on my iTunes!

I have nothing interesting to report. Nothing interesting happens in my life. Yesterday I went to the pub and had half of Tim's bottle of wine and then we wandered down to St. Giles Fair. Now the thing about this fair, it's not like most American fairs. There is no fair ground where it happens and it's not one of those carnivals on the side of the road you see sometimes. There is a road, St. Giles, which is one of the main roads leading into town from the north, in fact it's THE main road leading in. Well, for 3 days (the first Monday and Tuesday of September and the Sunday before to set up) they close off this road, set up the rides in very very scarily close proximity of the buildings around. I'm not kidding, the rides are literally inches away from some of the colleges! It's one of the scariest things I've every seen and I've never been on any of the rides. The fair is also full of chavs. I don't know what the American equivalent of a chav is....they often wear track suits, are horrible horrible people! Lol. They are often deliberately rude and mean to people, to prove how "hard" they are. Anyway, there are tons of them at the fair. Ugh. I don't really like it that much but when I'm here I do go, at least once and usually only to walk through and go to the pub! (oh, it's free btw, because they can't really charge you to walk through town and you have to go through it if you want to get to North Oxford).

That's all really. I have to go get my eyes checked on Thursday and to be honest, I think I'd rather go to the dentist! I hate eye exams, I get so nervous and think I'm going to get it all wrong or something! haha. But I haven't been to the opticians in 2 years apparently. Though it's only to the one in Oxford because I went when I was in America and got new glasses and everything. So yes, oh the fun in store for me, but not today. Not today.

avalonsreality @ 2008-09-02T09:13:00

2008-09-02T08:23:09Z

So I'm here watching Nellie for a few hours and I thought what better way to spend the time then by ignoring her and typing an entry on LJ! Yay for me! lol

I was just thinking how sad it is that the first thing I do in the morning is always the same. Get up; make coffee; turn on computer; check the weather; check Facebook; check MySpace; Twitter: LJ; Hotmail. Then check out QC and Penny Arcade and Homestarrunner.com. Every ding dang morning ! I guess it's better than getting up and having a shot of whiskey or a snort of coke, but still. Seems a bit pathetic, you know? But then, I did go a week in Austria without doing it, and when I was at my aunt's house I didn't really do it for a while, so it's not that bad. And I don't read all those trashy celeb blogs that I used to, though I do still check out Perez Hilton when I have nothing much else to do.

My life is so boring. I foolishly didn't get a job this summer which is probably the single most stupid thing I've done in quite some time. But the upside has been that I'm pretty much available for shenanigans and japes any night of the week and when you've got people randomly appearing and going off on world travels that can come in pretty handy! Take tonight, for example. It's the weekly pub quiz at the Turf and that usually doesn't end until 11 or something, and if I had to work I couldn't go. Instead, I have to watch Nellie now and Dan Dan this afternoon (which I get paid for!) and then go to the pub. Sam is going soon, so it's kind of his leaving thing too, I think. Tim doesn't want me to go back for Fresher's Week but I think I might. I mean, I don't have anything going on here and I could use the time to look for a job, which I am going to need like woah! That means I could be out of here in 2 and a half weeks! Which is rather exciting. I just wish I could get Laura to commit and tell me when she's going back.

Well, I've realized this is a fairly boring entry for everyone involved, especially since the people (if there are such people!) who read it don't even know the people I'm talking about in it! Oh well. Whatever. Peace

Felt like shit when I woke up this morning

2008-08-30T13:08:45Z

The title refers to a lyric of the song I'm listening to right now (Woke Up This Morning by Nickleback) but it also suits me a bit at the moment. The weather here has been rather oppressive recently. It's hot but still, so still. Right now it's 71 outside, which means it's only marginally cooler in my room at the moment. My room is a pretty good thermometer of the temperature outside. It's basically the same temp inside as it is outside. So it's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. The radiators help with the cold, but I only have one desk fan type thing to help with the heat. I don't mind it too much, but with the head here at the moment it's kind of getting me down. Austria was a lot hotter than I had expected and then to come back to England being hot too was an unwelcome little surprise.

Another thing pissing me off is I updated Firefox but now it's all different and the theme, or skin or whatever I had is no longer compatable with this updated version and it's not really spell checking things as I type anymore, though I have the little box checked, so it's supposed to. I don't know how to un-update it. Anyone know? I am a little used to the new theme, though I don't like it all that much, but I want it to spell check and I don't know why it's not doing it. Earlier it *was* but it was underlining words that weren't wrong! So I don't really know what to do.

I'm just generally annoyed and I'm blaming my lack of occupation and the weather. Oh look, there seems to be a breeze outside but I'll bet it's still hot. >sigh<

I'm going to see Hellboy 2 in about 3.5 hours with Tim and anyone else who shows up. Tim got back together with his ex, after being broken up with his last girlfriend for about a day. As soon as he decided to give this girl another chance, he regretted it but didn't know how to fix the situation. On Thursday I met him for a drink and we had dinner and she came along at the end. She got extremely pissed off because he told her he was going to go to the pub because it was Roland's birthday. She kept saying something like "you didn't tell me" or "you didn't invite me" (I was trying not to listen in, even though it was just us 3), even though he told her that he hadn't know about it until about 45 minutes before she came. She was supposed to go visit her sister, but she didn't. So she threw her can of Coke on the ground, splashing both Tim and me, causing a lot of people to stare at us, and stomped off down the road. Tim eventually went after her, though he didn't really want to. And left me alone to go wait at the pub, alone, for about 20 minutes while I waited for someone to show up. I hope he breaks up with this girl soon because I am not giving her the time of day. She's older than us, for crying out loud! (though only by maybe a year, but still!) She had no right to act like a petulant child, in front of me, in the middle of the street. She's got serious issues and Tim had been telling me she was over them, but then he said "maybe she is crazy" after this little incident. Ugh. I hate couples! lol

Emily is gone, Alan is gone. Sam said he's probably going to go in about a week. That's gonna leave me here for another 2 or so weeks. I haven't decided when to go back to Kent. I keep asking Laura when she's going to go but she doesn't reply and it's driving me a little nuts.

I am le tired of life

It's beginning to snow

2008-08-28T11:12:45Z

>sigh< Here I am, finally home. Just had a shower and was able to put on a different pair of jeans than the 2 pairs I've been alternating between all week. It's nice to be home. Even if I have a headache. Which doesn't surprise me much because I've had an aching head basically all week. I don't know why, maybe my body decided that now would be a good time to get hay fever, I dunno. Whatever the reason is, it's bloody annoying!

So I guess I should write about my trip. Hmmm...It's a rather boring tale. I'll give you the highlights. We took a car to the train station, then a train to the airport, then a plane to Austria, then a coach to the hotel. The hotel was crappy. We were in the "historical" section (aka. cheap!). My room was dark, but it was cool, temperature wise which was good because it was hotter in Austria than I had expected. My window had a view into an alleyway. Nice. My family's room was slightly nicer, all painted white, with lots of windows, very light and with better views. It wasn't really what we had expected but whatever. There were 3 English language channels on the TV - BBC Prime, BBC World News and CNN, so I ended up watching a lot of crappy shows and more news than I would usually do!

We went up a few mountains, which were cool. (All photos available on Facebook!) We visited a waterfall on Sunday, but for some reason when we got back to the hotel I was just fed up. When we had dinner in the hotel (which was always grim and we only did it twice), I barely finished my food before asking if I could leave. I went back to my room and when my dad came to see me I started crying. I wasn't feeling well and I couldn't really stand to be around the children anymore. Dan Dan had started crying at one point and I found it hideously embarrassing. So we agreed on Monday that I could stay at the hotel if I wished. I wished. So they went out and I went to read by the river. It was here, at about 11.30am, that some ugly, middle-aged Austrian man came up to me and despite my protestations that I don't speak German, sat down, stared at my chest, kept touching my arm and made a hang gesture that suggested to me that he wanted to have sex. At this point I grabbed my bag, said I had to go and hot footed it back to the hotel. I stayed in the hotel the rest of the day. >shudder< It was horrible.

On Tuesday we went to Salzburg which was pretty cool, if extremely hot and full of tourists. I finally had a decent meal there, which was nice. I think that was part of the problem. We were having ham and cheese sandwiches most days, for lunch and dinner, because it was cheaper. This was the first time we've been on holiday where we didn't stay in a house with cooking facilities, so I think it ended up being a lot more expensive than my parents had at first banked on. Oh well. I bought a scarf for 30 euros and a bottle of some blue alcohol that I don't know what it is, but some lucky people we get to try it with me! Joy for them!

So yes, not the best trip in the world. The one good thing that happened was Dan Dan seemed to get over his hatred of me somewhat and there were days where he was asking to sit with me or for me to hold him. It was a little touch and go when we got back to England and looked for a while that he was only going to like me in foreign countries, but then he sat with me on the train and it was good again. I guess Jo was right when she said I just needed to spend time with him. But still. Ugh. So *much* time!

I have to decide now whether I'm going to stay in til half 6 and have a drink with Tony and Joy or go to the pub at 5.30 and meet Tim. He said yesterday that he couldn't meet me when I suggested that we get together but he wanted to see me ASAP. I don't know if something has happened or not, if he just wants to meet me. Sam called me last night and we talked for about half an hour and he filled me in on things that happened while I was gone.

That's enough for now. Peace out!

10p! 10p! My kingdom for 10p!

2008-08-18T11:13:46Z

Well, more precisely, for 5 10p coins. I am 5 short on making up £5 and that's what I need for the money bag. Nell has a stash of change somewhere, I know, but I can't find it! Cunning child has hidden it from me! And you can't open her piggy bank. That thing is chock full of pound coins and cash but you can't get the damn thing open! Maybe I need one like that. But I'd probably get fed up and end up cracking it open with a hammer only to discover that there was a 2p coin inside.

>sigh< I hate money. And it's all I think about these days. Ugh. I have a headache.

So yesterday I was in the foulest mood known to man. The only benefit of me being in a bad mood is that it means I get things done. The thing I got done yesterday was dismantling the empty bookshelf that's been in my room ever since I built my new one. So I took it apart. I got frustrated at one point because I couldn't get this screw out and was going to give up, then I slammed the thing on the ground and broke some wood to get it out. Worked too. So that freed up some space and I was able to put the chair that usually sits in front of the full length mirror in its place. One thing that is annoying about having a room off the kitchen and having been gone a year is that things get stored in here. There are 2 table chairs (non-matching), a big (broken) green chair that you can only sit on the very edge of. There was a box of glasses that weren't mine. My computer chair was stolen by my stepmum so I have to use one of the kitchen chairs instead and it's annoying. It's not the most comfortable thing to sit on for hours and hours (which is how long I'm usually at the computer), and the cushion slides off.

But back to my bad mood. I was hating everything and anything. My family went out for a walk but I was tidying my room so I stayed in. Had some lunch and was watching the Olympics til they came back. Now the thing is, there is only one TV that gets actual TV and it's in the living room. The kids are only supposed to watch for an hour in the morning and an hour in the evening. If you are watching in the day, they will either: complain about what you are watching and demand a kids channel; get scared of what you are watching and want you to turn it off; sit and watch it dumb founded; get really excited (Nell does this with the Olympics) and jump around making loads of noise; or take no notice that you are watching TV and proceed to just play and make loads of noise. (this last one is very rare and the first one most likely) The result is you basically can't watch TV during the day, at least when they are home. And since school is out they are always home. So I got all annoyed about that, came to my room and was on Gaia when my stepmum said they were going for ice cream and did I want to come. I said no, she left. Dad came in to ask again and I got all defensive and then sort of teared up. He had to go and said we'd talk about it later. While they were gone I got really mad, did the bookshelf thing and cleaned my room. When they got back and he wanted to talk I just started crying and saying I didn't know what was wrong, I just felt bad. It was lots of things. The TV, missing people in America, not wanting to go back to Kent, worrying about that, the kids saying mean things to me all the time (Dan Dan sang a song about wishing I was dead, and don't tell me he's just a kid because it still hurt!), my period being late, hating all my music on iTunes, my PS2 controller being broken so I couldn't play any games. He was just sort of sitting there listening to this petty list of things that have been getting me down. I know it's because I'm home all the time, didn't get a job this summer and so I have too much time to sit around and think and that's never a good idea with me. But I really didn't want a job, I wanted one summer off. I mean, I've been working every summer since I was 18! And basically worked all year for my 18th year. I didn't want to be an office temp and that basically meant I didn't apply to anywhere! Lol. My own fault, but I had some money at the beginning and it wasn't a big deal. Now I wish I had gotten a job but hind sight is 20/20

So yeah. I have to go into town to buy Nell a birthday present. She wants a Tamagotchi. Those things were big when *I* was 10! I thought they were dead uncool now. Oh well. I have to find out where to buy one, see if I can afford it and pick out one she'll like. Failing that I'm going to buy her a wastepaper basket! Lol. But I am meeting Emily at 3 and it's 12.10 now and I can see the rain clouds gathering. It's going to be a wet trip to town. And now my period has started (I know you wanted to know that!) I'm not in the best of moods. >sigh< Oh the things we do for those we love.

I need to dry my hair and eat some lunch. The kids have gone out with Jo to town so I have some quiet but they'll be back at any moment so I can't bank on it for long. Ugh.

Boredom is bollocks!

2008-08-15T10:35:36Z

>le sigh<

I'm in a bad mood. Well, kinda....I'm in a blah mood more truthfully. Don't know what to do with myself today. I've been home for nearly 2 months now and have blown all my money! lol. No big surprise there! I'm just killing time til I go back to Kent. Bored.....

I miss everyone in America, esp. at USC. If I was there I'd already be back at uni! But no, I have to wait another 5 weeks! Shesh. Never thought I would live to see the day that I was desperate to get back to uni! Though I'm not really, I just want something to do. I also want to get it over with. One more year. A little scary. I'm also determined to get my grades up because no one seems to think I can. Em was saying that I'll have to work really hard and that she's afraid I'll be upset if I don't get a first.....That kind of rubs me the wrong way. I mean, *she* got a first for crying out loud! That's mean but true. She had to pull out all the stops in the final year. I have a solid basis to start from and I just need to apply myself. Which I know is easier said than done, but with nothing except real life looming ahead I might be able to do it. I don't really see myself getting a master's degree because I can't face more debt. Though it's almost to the point where they might as well just pile it on! I know it's worse for people who started after me, because that's when they introduced top-up fees and they pay more than I do, but it's still a lot!

Doesn't really bear thinking about right now.

There was a spider in the bathroom, on the ceiling, right above the shower, so I had a quick and stressful shower! It's been a while since I had such a fast shower! Lol. It kept moving around! I don't mind when they are still, but it kept moving and almost falling off the ceiling because of the rising damp. >shudder< I hate spiders.

My head hurts and I'm hungry. It's only 11.30. This is when I got up yesterday but I've been up for 2 hours already today after getting about 5 1/2 hours of sleep last night. No wonder I'm grumpy. I shouldn't be because the family are all gone and it's sunny outside! What on earth is my problem? Boredom I guess. Maybe I'll go see what's on telly.

>sigh<

avalonsreality @ 2008-07-20T12:33:00

2008-07-20T11:39:56Z

Hungover and home alone. Woohoo. Best combination ever. Not. I prefer it when my folks are here, even though they give me no sympathy. Lol. Usually just a "poor Avie" and a roll of the eyes. But I miss the company. They went to spend the night with friends yesterday and won't be back til this evening. So to alleviate the loneliness I went to the pub for about 6 hours then came back to mine to drink some more and have a few joints. I wasn't that drunk considering. I had 3 glasses of wine and 2 gin and tonics (doubles! Lol) over the course of that time so it wasn't too bad. Alan got a whitey at my house, threw up - in the toilet - and passed out on my parents bed for a while. Listened to lots of drunk and high stories from the wild days of people's youth. Haha. When they all had left by about 3.30, all I had to do was wash the wine glasses and it was all clean. Tidiest house party EVER!

Now I'm being bullied into going punting the afternoon and I really just don't feel like it. Just so tired. Wasn't too bad when I went to bed (at 4.30!) but since I got up at 11.30 in order to make sure the house was okay before the family to get back, only to find out they won't be back til about 5 this evening! But since I got up, I really only had about 6 hours sleep and I'm well tired! Lol. Only myself to blame.

Plus I've got cramps. Bleg. Sucks being a girl sometimes